


How Much Sawdust Can You Put In A Rice Crispy Treat Before People Notice?

by Stop_Conlon_Is_My_Trash_Son



Category: The Book of Mormon - Parker/Stone/Lopez
Genre: M/M, Multi, Other
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-08
Packaged: 2020-08-12 22:54:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20163976
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Stop_Conlon_Is_My_Trash_Son/pseuds/Stop_Conlon_Is_My_Trash_Son
Summary: Elder Poptarts wants to know how much sawdust he can put in a rice crispy treat before people notice.





	How Much Sawdust Can You Put In A Rice Crispy Treat Before People Notice?

For the past 3 weeks, Elder Chris Thomas, more commonly known as Elder Poptarts, had been conducting an experiment. He wanted to know who much sawdust he can make the other Elders eat and get away with, his reasoning behind such query? He was bored.

Poptarts thought he would be sussed out after the first day or so, but much to his surprise, no one noticed, not even the "All Knowing" Elder Price. Pleased with his results thus far, Poptarts carried on, he'd make crispy treats for the other Elders and mix the sawdust in, then give them out, no one suspected a thing. Poptarts started documenting his findings and made a presentation to show the others when he saw best fit. It was difficult to keep it hidden from Elder MiKinley, being mission companions and all.

What most surprised Poptarts was the fact that the sawdust didn't seem to be affecting anyone, what shocked him even more was the amount of sawdust the Elders were acting intaking, it can't possibly be healthy right? Wrong. Poptarts when to Gotswana to ask about it and he said that it was fine, in fact a lot of the food people eat on a day-to-day basis has cellulose, which is in sawdust, so the Elders would be perfectly fine. Poptarts did some research on the District's computer and found that the doctor was indeed right. Well, know he knew no one would die at least.

Poptarts was around 3 and a half weeks into the experiment before anyone seemed to get suspicious of all the sweet treats he was making. It was Elder Price and Nabulungi that said about it.

"What's with all the crispy treats you've been making? It's nice and all, but why _are_ you doing it?" Price asked as he leaned against the door frame separating the kitchen and living room. The tall boy was running his hand through his perfect quiff and eyeing the small blonde suspiciously.

"No reason, Elder Price. I'm just being neighbourly and we've all been working so hard these past few weeks. Honestly, I just thought it would be a nice treat for everyone, a 'well done' of sorts." Poptarts gave his fellow Elder a warm smiled, hoping to God he believes his lie.Elder Price simply hummed and walked off, leaving the mysterious Elder to his secret scheme.

It was only the next day that Nabulungi asked him the same question. "Elder, can I ask you why you've made all of these?" Naba didn't seem to be as suspicious as Elder Price and more curious.

"Just trying to be nice really." The blonde shrugged and continued with his daily chores.

Another week had passed, and Poptarts decided it was time to give up the game. He had been recording and documenting his results for the past month and was pleased with the presentation be had set up. It was full of graphs, sneaky pictures he had taken of the Elders eating his creations and other bit of information. To say he was proud was an understatement.

Poptarts had Elder McKinley call a house meeting in the living room. All the Elders were sat down, and were joined by Nabulungi and Gotswana (who Poptarts had personally asked to be there. The doctor kept smirking at the clueless boys).

"So, what's this meeting about, Elder McKinley?" Asked Elder Neeley, who was set next to Elder Davis with a protective arm wrapped about the smaller boy.

"Umm… I have know idea, actually. Poptarts said he had something to show us all." The redhead replied. Poptarts took this as his que to stand up. He grabbed the presentation bored he had hidden behind a chair.

"So, you all must be wondering why you're here. Well, I have something to tell you all," Poptarts turned the bored around to show everyone. It was titled _"How Much Sawdust Can You Put In A Rice Crispy Treat Before People Notice?"_ A few of the Elders paled, Cunningham and Michaels in particular who were both still eating the rice crispy treats. Elder Price stood and shouted an "I KNEW IT!" before he was shushed by McKinley. The other Elders didn't seem too happy and glared at the blonde boy. "Any questions?"

"Why would you do this, Poptarts?" Asked Elder Church, who had probably eaten the majority of the treats.

"Read the bored." Poptarts pointed the the_ 'Purpose'_ section and then the writing underneath it that read, _'I was bored and mad at Elder Church for eating my last Poptart.'_

"Are we gonna die?!" A frantic ELder Cunningham asked. Nabulungi sat next to him, gently rubbing his back and whispering comforting words. Gotswana, having just calmed down from a hysterical laughing fit, answered before Poptarts got the chance, "Oh, you white boys! You won't die, most of the food you eat have this stuff in anyway. So stop you're stupid worring!"

"Where did you even get the sawdust from?" McKinley asked.

"I started collecting it when we started building the school, it's all in a jar hidden under my bed. Or it was, it's all in your stomachs now!" Poptarts beamed but wasn't met with the same reaction.

"How did you even get way with this? Surely you must have noticed something, Elder McKinley? Or even you, Church? You did eat most of them." Said Elder looked at Neeley, who seemed unaffected by the situation. "

I knew something was up! He just started baking all of a sudden and you know what they say, it's always the small ones who are the most evil." Announced Price, glaring daggers at Poptarts.

"Yeah, but it took you a month to realise it, you were just as clueless as everyone else." Poptarts defended.

_ "A MONTH?!"_ Exclaimed McKinley. "How long has this been going on?"

"About a month? Gotswana?" Poptarts turned to the man in question for clarification.

"Yes, about a month." The rest of the Elders were even more awestruck. They had been eating sawdust for a month and didn't know it. Poptarts had really outdone himself this time. "What I'm most shocked about is how much sawdust you guys have actually eaten. Like, it's a lot." Poptarts was pleased with his experiment, even if the others weren't.

It was definitely one of his best achievements and would boast about it for a long time coming. The week's worth of extra chores were well worth it.


End file.
